You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Coming in this morning, I saw a shooting star.  It's always so amazing to me when I happen to be looking in the right direction at the exact moment that a meteorite shoots through the sky.  The odds are against us that we see them.  How many others are there, every night, that no one sees?  Am I the only one who, for this brief moment, gave it's existence validation?

Years ago, I worked for a horrible place.  We've all been there, I'm sure.  It was the late-eighties, and I had thought that sexism was a topic of discussion for the history books.  Wow, did I learn some life lessons at that place!  It was a men's clothing manufacturer.  It was run by men, for men.  They did have a women's clothing line, too, but that was secondary.  As were their women employees.

I'm not going to go into the details of why I left.  While it was an influential lesson in my life, it's just not important anymore.  It was incredibly traumatic while it was happening, but another event that occurred the day that I walked out, or rather stormed out (flipping everyone the bird as I did!), altered my life more.  It's the day I learned who I am. 

So, I quit that job.  I said many choice words, I gathered my possessions, and I stormed out.  I got in my car, a 1988 Chevy, and peeled wheels in the parking lot.  I could not wait to get the hell away from that God awful place!  I sped (have I mentioned how I like to speed??) down a little side road, turned onto a smaller side road, which eventually led me to my most favorite, and the most incredibly narrow, back road.  I was pissed off and I was flying!  Rounding blind corners, tires screeching, tears streaming down my face.  I was pissed and I was determined to take it out on someone!!  And then.....

For some reason, I stopped.  I just stopped.  A little voice, a little feeling I had....something just said to me, "stop".  So I did.  I took a few deep breaths, I rolled the windows down, and I realized it was a fantastic day.  The sky was blue with fluffy white clouds, the trees were lush and green, and I did not have to go back to that horrible place anymore.  The crushing weight I had been feeling was gone.  I felt alive, and I was at peace.

I started driving again, very slowly.  I was creeping along.  I was smelling the air, I was drinking in the beauty of this crazy, winding, wooded back road.  Suddenly, that horrible workplace seemed so completely insignificant.  I slowly rounded a blind curve, and when the road straightened out on the other side, there was a deer standing in the middle of the road.

It was a larger female and she was beautiful.  She was just standing there in the middle of the road, looking in my direction.  It was as if she were waiting for me.  I came to a complete stop and I turned off my engine.  I sat there watching her, and she stood there, watching me.  She very slowly turned her head and looked over her shoulder behind her, wiggled her ears, and a tiny little spotted fawn came out of the woods and stood next to her.  This beautiful creature trusted me, she was showing me her baby.  They both stood there, in complete silence, watching me.  I sat, in complete silence, watching them. I was awestruck.  Her soulful brown eyes were meeting my gaze, she was seeing my soul and I was seeing hers.  It was spiritual.  Her beautiful little spotted baby stood close to her.  He touched her with his nose, looking for reassurance, and she touched him back.  He was safe. 

She tilted her head and wiggled her ears, and the two walked away, together, into the woods.  This was their home, they had allowed me to witness them, living.  Being.  For this brief moment, they gave witness to my life, and I to theirs.  It was magical.  It was humbling.

These moments, these quiet, subtle moments, are all around us.  All the time.